It's another particularly splendid Autumn day in New Zealand's capital. I am not sure if the season is an unusually pleasant one or I am especially sensitive to it; a new awareness of the natural beauty around me.

It’s been an unusual few days. Monday, I loved my job. Unfortunately for environmental reasons rather than content reasons. I do get to meet interesting people. Tuesday, I hated my job, I was under pressure to prepare financial reports for the quarterly Board meeting, and every thing was going wrong. I had a ten cent problem that would not go away. It took several hours and attempts to find the issue and I eventually had to undo three weeks of bank recs to fix one transactional error. Luckily I managed to do that before our internet/server stopped working. Sigh. I couldn’t find two crucial international invoices, and looked foolish in front of my colleague, who is super organised. It wasn’t actually my fault but I felt stink anyway. I am a square peg in a round hole and I know it. I don’t see the trees – I see the forrest.

Wednesday, today, I have been very productive (but not at work). I have fixed my aunties networking/wireless problems when several others could not. I have helped another aunty make a plan for new business idea she has. I have consulted with the new manager who took over from me at my old job, and given her a pep talk and a few important suggestions of how to approach an upcoming challenge. I am enthused again, and feeling much less sorry for myself.

There has to be a next step, I don’t know what it is, but man I am ready.

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